Everyone in life faces challenges. One simple matter is to determine whether or not a problem is caused ‘by oneself’ or by something beyond one’s self. In many cases each of learns as we grow to make this distinction. Often enough, it is clear. There are also cases when it is not. When it is not clear, people can spend energy figuring out whether or not it is caused by the self or not.
In working life, one of the difficulties is confronting when a situation is one’s fault but the truth is not that pleasant. Perhaps one has to put great effort into overcoming a certain limitation. In my own case, many years of my life – mostly before age 35, I noticed that I could make it so that I would get details correct in many work environments as well as on tests, but that I tended to be much more high strung because it actually took a lot to make myself get certain types of tasks correct whereas there were many other tasks which came much more easily. It is also true that people often have some strong negative emotional reactions to have to do something exceptionally unpleasant or difficult – sometimes even though that is needed.
It is also true that there are times when ‘the problem’ is actually not the self, but really is coming from the outside world or other people. In such cases, it helps to know that and to at least release basic self-blame for circumstances beyond one’s own control.
Each of us has our own unique adventure through life, and that includes all the cases of ‘what is me, what is because of others?’ and through repeated checking we can find out more …and sometimes find out how to gain more power and control of some aspects of life and also to just let go over those cases where it isn’t us.