Today

Many of have ideas. Some are good ideas and others are not. There are some that can be implemented and others cannot.

Today is yet another day when I have been considering dressing up as a clown and going out to busk in the nearest mid sized city. I would like more money, so if I busk I can be hanging around and can wear funny make up and pump up some balloons. A weekend afternoon downtown.

My son is out of town with his father. I have 50% legal custody. He has had 2 homes since he was 9, and his parents have not always been equally single or romantically involved to the same degree at the same time. Because of that, they don’t have to watch if I go out there in clown make up and toting balloons.

I do feel like interacting, making some people smile and having fun, but it would be better for me to end up getting paid than to go out spending: most people at a workplace are in exactly that kind of situation…hanging around earning or hoping to earn without feeling embarrassed or being shooed away.

A lot of it is about the joy of clown make up and balloons and mingling with the general public.

Whether or not it ever happens could make a big difference or almost no difference. Apparently it is all about whether or not I will ‘dare to’. Not being wildly extroverted I would be glad to be hiding behind the clown make up sometimes, but I am into being the center of attention enough to like the idea of being out there attracting attention…No, I don’t have and won’t spend at this time on a full clown costume with sparkly giant shoes but I’m not against wearing satin green with white polka dots and glitter covered gigantic shoes with an insole that fits my feet.

One thought on “Today

  1. kaos distro says:

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