Self & Self as Mother & Boy Turns 18, into Man!

What happened was that at age 35 I was moved from the category on forms that is for 18 to 34 into the one that is for 35 to 50. Well, that was one sign. Another indicator was that 18 + 18 = 36 and this holds true for age as well. That means that right at or near age 36 one changes into someone who has spent as much time grown up as it took to grow up in the first place. Wow, is that ever a milestone!

Now, as a 45 year old, Junior is within weeks of becoming 18! Sometimes I notice that different times during his childhood seem more lit up in my memory and in certain respects I have also felt as if I were just imagining the whole thing, even though it has been really happening. I felt a bit of guilt and apologetic at moments for how much it seemed like I must just be hallucinating myself as my son’s mother and that I was actually in the process of raising a child, fortunately not all by myself. In chat speak that means, “OMG! Is this really happening to me?!” and yet, it’s not that bad.

When the guy was a 4 year old stopping to check out and enjoy a clump of icy snow on the short stroll from day care to home made sense. Now that he’s 17, entertaining myself while he is playing online using Skype has replaced letting him play with toy cars as a much younger child.

OMG, breast feeding and nappy changing
Thomas the Tank Engine in real England.
Bottles, the big deal is walking and learning to use a spoon and driving the Bobby car, redefining the Flintstones wheels.
Pokemon – stuffed animals, marbles, cards: for years
Matchbox cars for years.
Lego
video games
bicycles
more video games
Battle gore
Dungeons and Dragons
swimming at the Y
Pee wee soccer
Spell bowl
German schools, swimming, the local Fitness Fabrik, more biking

Obviously that doesn’t cover everything…but those are the main toys and games of my son’s childhood and therefore of my relating to my child for the past 18 years.

When I got pregnant, I decided to feel it was good that due to the timing I would be the mother of an adult before I became 50 years old…That would give me some working years after the child has grown.

I’m glad I was actually with him when he took his first steps even though he’s forgotten all about that.

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