I still don’t have season tickets for the theatre or a tailored wardrobe. I still don’t own a house that is large and pricey enough to be called a Manor House but stylistically a bit more like a Tudor home than most Manor Houses. I still don’t have the money for the servants. I still do not have the right social relationships to have my huge house that I need servants just to help take care of filled with guests who I am grateful to be hostessing.
As far as I know I am still not semi-famous, and still do not drive a Lambourghini.
While not the spiritual bottom of the barrel I have also not matched or surpassed the most spiritually advanced other living people on the Earth.
I am just not living up to my own expectations about my future….
Now, to help give perspective…It is also true that I have a vivid imagination and read a lot of novels and watched a lot of fiction along with making real world progress with respect to some of my life goals and living according to my personal preferences. I am talented enough to have high expectations but just as we haven’t even established a good Martian and Lunar colony yet in real life, it may be that thanks to the vivid imagination some of what I think of as being possible and what I can really do in this lifetime may be a bit…off. Who knows, maybe I am even doing pretty well. The ISS is up there, but in the novel I wrote last year and this year, humanity has already achieved space colonization out to about 35 Light Years which makes the little tin can around Earth and the latest efforts towards Mars expeditions seem more like the real but amazing achievement of a baby learning to roll over, or crawl or even get up and walk compared to people who are already adult having high powered careers…or something?